FAQ 1 : I am Southern. We have central air.

FAQ 3: FAQ 1 deals with FAQ 2 by donning sheaths and threadbare garments in the city on 100+ days.

FAQ 4: FAQ 1 shot these pics in an un-air conditioned hallway and was sweating balls. Easy, breezy, cover girl? Ha! Hardly.

FAQ 5: Cleon Grey is such an amazing photographer FAQ 1 forgets FAQ 2 and focuses on FAQ 3.

Like “Zoom in with that camera lense, much?!” nestled…like “Carlos, you can’t be insecure NOW!” nestled. Perhaps this made me sweat more.

I wasn’t interested in wearing heels any longer, nor were my feet, so I figured barefoot would do. It would complement the look, anyhow : a look I chose to wear on one of the hottest days of the summer a few weeks back.

Remember that disastrous heat wave that sucked the dear life and marrow out of this fair city?!

Yes, I decided that day that wearing dookie shorts simply wouldn’t cut it. Yes, sometimes you want to look half-way decent in a heat wave. In fact, I visualized myself as a big rush of wind coming down the street, the fabric being picked up by the breeze, my Chinatown fan a twitchin’ to and fro.

It’s oddly romantic to me, like, “I’m in a rush! I simply can’t be bothered with this weather right now. I’m just too fly. Oh! I have a fan too, which also makes me a genius!”

I also trapped myself in a cold, dark movie theater for three hours and bought a Slurpee: other examples of my off-the-charts smarts and street style.

You must be terribly jealous at this point, so I will explain that to weather a heat wave or any hot enclosed space (stylishly, of course), you need thin material that is subtly sexy without giving away too much. A slit up the thigh…a see-through tank…a bra strap that won’t stay up…perhaps no bra at all (if you can manage it)…a skirt of a dramatic length…a top of epic scarcity…a low neckline…a backless frock…a slither of skin.

Try a light color palette: gray…pale pink…whites…mint…peach…light blue, then slip on a light sandal. Leave all chunky, troublesome heels at home because you will be moving with the ease and dexterity of the supernatural. You cannot be bothered with the pain of a three-inch platform.

Take a small satchel with you, which is replete with your keys, cell phone (your lover is going to be calling annnnnnnny second now), your Chinatown fan, cash for a Slurpee and/or mojitos (though, those will naturally be on the house), chapstick (the pout drys easily in this weather), and your iPod (play an upbeat song that will remind you of the pace and magnitude of the city). If you’re really smart, you’ll fold up the newspaper and get some reading done on the air conditioned train.

But don’t try to avoid the heat by staying in side all day: everyone should be so lucky to get a gust of your very cool look.

All photos courtesy of Cleon Grey of Aveder Outfit

Tank by Kain
Maxi skirt by Helmut Lang